Happy Easter!

I feel like I have a lot to say, get ready...

This weekend I finally bit the bullet.  I did quite a bit of research and finally decided that I'm not the only one who needed to be in maternity pants so early.  At just 10.5 weeks I was feeling a little ridiculous having my jeans unbuttoned and tucked in.  The following is a synopsis of my maternity pant search:

• Ross: total bust.  I am not cool enough nor do I have the right figure for skinny jeans.
• Marshall's: really disappointed.  They don't even have a maternity section!
• Old Navy: left more confused than I arrived.  The HUGE size I tried on in vain (only to make myself feel better about my expanding waistline) was so tight I couldn't even get them up.  The pants which are actually my size ended up falling off because they were soooo big.  My girlfriend tried to tell me that it was because they were different cuts... that's crap.  No two sizes should be that far apart!!!
• Kohl's: victory!  I went with my mom and sister yesterday and actually found a pair that fit well!  Unfortunately, they only had 1 pair.
• Easter Bunny: Today, the easter bunny left me a pair of maternity pants (that fit!) in my basket!  I'm lucky to have such a great family!

I'm starting to wonder if we can pull off not saying anything at work for another 4 weeks.  Originally, we wanted to announce our pregnancy on May 18th, the due date of our 1st pregnancy.  I'm a week and a half out from 12 weeks (the safe zone).  I think we may just have to announce it then (not that I'm upset, I can't wait to tell everyone!).  Also, working with kids with special needs can get pretty physical at times.  I don't want my coworkers to think I'm ditching out on helping to lift kids much longer.  I don't want them to think I'm slacking!  We'll see how it goes :o)

A friend emailed me this link.  It's an animation of pregnancy through the trimesters.  Pretty interesting!  http://www.msichicago.org/whats-here/exhibits/you/the-exhibit/your-beginning/make-room-for-baby/interactive/  

This morning we attended Easter service at church.  I don't consider myself to be much of a religious person but the minister (also the officiant from our wedding) has a beautiful way of speaking.  His words are so gentle, thought provoking, and not too "churchy".  Today he was talking about Easter as a symbol of fertility and new life.  His message was that wherever you are in life this day can serve as a reminder that the rest of your days hold wonderful possibilities.  He is certainly correct in our circumstances.  The Christmas Eve service was exceptionally difficult to get through last year.  The miscarriage was still pretty fresh and his message revolved around "finding a home" for the holidays.  He acknowledged that we have all endured pain in the past year, some more than others, and needed to find comfort in family, friends, and the holidays.  While sitting in the pews today I glanced up to the balcony, where we sat at the Christmas Eve service.  I am so thankful for how far we've come, for the wonderful people we have in our lives, and for my loving husband.  Thank you, each and every one of my family and friends, who have supported and loved us through this trying time in our lives.  We are so lucky to have you.  May this year be filled with wonderful possibilities for everyone.    

Here come the hormones...

I think it's now safe to say that I've officially had my first pregnancy emotional "meltdown".  What happened you ask?  Here's the story:

Duke and Layla have taken up a new hobby: eating the walls.  It's not my ideal choice for their entertainment but they really seem dedicated.  In 3 days we've incurred 2 holes, one of which is completely through the drywall.  Needless to say, we're bummed.  The dogs have been relatively well behaved for the past year or so (minus the occasional sock casualty).  We decided to start using their kennels during the day to provide a bit more support.  Sounds like a great idea, right?!  There's more...

A few weeks ago, Jesse and I decided to transition the dogs into the basement over the summer.  We can anticipate how "helpful" they'll want to be in the middle of the night once the baby comes and would like to try to avoid that all together.  When Jesse suggested that we go ahead and move them downstairs now I lost it.  Crying, inconsolable crying, can't catch your breath crying ensued.  Things like "I don't want them to think I don't want them anymore" came blubbering out.  The most ridiculous part is that I was fully conscious of how irrational and emotional I was being.  Between sobs I would apologize to Jesse for being so crazy.  Ultimately, we've compromised on having them sleep upstairs as usual and be kenneled in the basement during the day.

I think it's ironic that I work with my students on a daily basis to help them learn how to control their meltdowns.  This has been and I'm sure will continue to remain a learning process.

Have you seen the guilty dog video on YouTube?  Duke and Layla must be close and personal friends with Denver  :o)  You're sure to enjoy this if you are a dog lover.

I'm trying to get a feel for if they dogs know something is going on, that something is changing with me.  I think Duke is pretty intuitive but Layla... we'll just leave it at that!  I'm really having a hard time pinpointing anything else that has changed which would initiate such destructive behavior.  In the mean time, wish our walls good luck!

9 weeks 4 days

As we begin to approach the 12 week "safety zone" I find that my mind is a bit more at ease about everything.  I can notice a huge change in my own behavior.  I've really mellowed quite a bit.  A few weeks ago my free time was consumed by 3 things: eating, sleeping, and reading mindless pregnancy forums.  I've since cut back on the forums, they're filled with horror stories and inaccurate information.  I am really enjoying reading my books.  I feel like they probably have a bit more credibility.  Every once and a while I'll go online to look at an ultrasound video of a baby who is as far along as ours.  Below is one I found for this week.  I'm amazed with the degree of movement!  I'm really looking forward to feeling baby Jones soon but according to my books it'll be at least another 6 weeks!

Tough Night

Preface to reading this post:  I am NOT complaining, just chronicling my interesting evening :o)

I was not prepared for last night.  After attending a happy hour with work friends and my lovely husband I was feeling pretty good.  We were enjoying a relaxing evening on the sofa when the "evening sickness" hit me like a tsunami.  Morning sickness is a funny thing.  Just that morning Jesse gave me a kiss after he had eaten peanut butter.  I told him if they made peanut butter perfume I would buy stock in it!  The same evening, he repeated the peanut butter kiss and I nearly tossed my proverbial cookies.  After spending a while in the bathroom dry heaving I decided I MUST have macaroni and cheese... and I must have it now.  I've noticed that when you're pregnant "a little hungry" doesn't exist anymore.  There is only "not hungry" or "lay off me I'm starving!" (a nice nod to Chris Farley's SNL skit).  What an interesting journey pregnancy is.  I'm glad I'm just at the beginning and hope to have some more things figured out as time progresses.  I'll figure it out!

He's kind of a big deal!

In case you weren't aware: my husband is awesome!  He went out to run a few errands for us and look what he came back with for me:

Peanut Butter Perfection by Bliss Cupcakes, www.blisscupcake.com 

So as I'm updating with this entry, I'm noticing that about 1/2 of my posts involve food!  I guess that's a big part of this whole pregnancy deal!  Thanks, Jesse, for being the best husband in the world.  I love you so much!

Another Doctor's Appointment!

We survived!  Actually, it's more like I survived.  I really don't know how Jesse manages to stay so cool and collected at these appointments.  They are just plain scary!  I am constantly amazed by his strength.  I'm so lucky to have such a wonderful husband!  Today was our "big" appointment: physical, family history, ultrasound, bloodwork results... everything!  Here are the highlights of the appointment:

• Baby looked good, still growing, saw heartbeat again
• Due date changed: 11.17.11
• We will deliver at Sky Ridge Medical Center in Lone Tree
• Blood work looked good minus the fact that I'm a Strep-B carrier (whatever that means)
• Next doctor's appointment is at the beginning of June
• Next ultrasound will be at the beginning of July (when we can find out the sex!)

Sky Ridge...not too shabby!

Chocolate Makes Happy Babies (and Moms!!!)

Perhaps it's just that my master's work has taken over my brain but I have begun to look at pregnancy research.  I came across this study which just makes me happy:

http://gsdl.sld.cu/collect/chocolat/index/assoc/HASH42f5.dir/doc.pdf

In case you'd just like to read a short synopsis:

They had 305 women that participated in the study. They grouped them into never/seldom consumers, weekly, and daily. What did they find? That the daily consumers of chocolate had happier babies at 6 months old. They rated happiness by more "positively reactive and active". They argued that it could be that the mothers who were eating chocolate everyday had a more positive sense of well-being. Thus, they passed those happy feelings onto their babies in the womb. A weakness in their study could have been that the mothers who ate chocolate daily were also more interactive with their babies during the first 6 months.

A Sense of Accomplishment!

A friend suggested Jesse and I watch a BBC special, The Great Sperm Race.  I highly recommend it to anyone who is trying to conceive, pregnant, or just in need of a good laugh in general.  Complete with thousands of actors dressed in all white in their debut role as sperm, the show chronicles the journey of sperm through the "evil" female reproductive system.  It really is amazing that any babies are born at all!  Because it is on YouTube, you'll have to watch it in segments.  Enjoy!

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Portion Control

I'm at the point where I feel nervous to eat.  One week ago I would eat for relief of nausea.  It seems that now I eat with a payoff of nausea instead.  Last night before we left for the auto show I had a PB&J on whole wheat, grapes, and cottage cheese (around 5:00).  By the time we left at 10pm, I felt just as full as I had when we left, uncomfortably full.  They say that your digestive system significantly slows down during pregnancy to aid in the absorption of nutrients but, jeez!  This is an interesting journey for sure!  I think I'll experiment with portions and eating times.  Hopefully I'll find the right combination for a comfortable day!

Denver Auto Show

Last night we went to the Denver Auto Show.  Jesse and I have been talking about getting a new car for a while.  We're a bit worried about how much more life the Jeep has left.  We ultimately decided to wait until I finished my Master's program before seriously looking into it.  I think this may be Jesse's way of nesting.  He wants to make sure that everything is "up to code" before the baby comes.  It seemed like the auto show would be a good place to start getting some ideas.  Overall, our favorite was the Hyundai Veracruz.  It was half way affordable and has the all important 3 rows of seats Jesse has dubbed as necessity.  While visiting the Honda section and sitting in the front seats of the Ridgeline, we were horrified to see that someone had left his undies in the back seat... gross!

Auntie Annie

Our baby is so lucky to have his/her Auntie Annie!  I'm so lucky to have my sister, Annie.  If you know Annie at all, you know that she's an incredible baker.  Pies are her true specialty but she can do things with flour and sugar that are the things dreams are made of!  She also heard about the ginger nausea solution.  When we met her for lunch today she made me some almond ginger lemon squares!  They are to die for!  Thanks, Annie!  You're the best!  

Feel free to contact Annie for your casual baking needs/desires!

You WANT Morning Sickness?!

Yes, I do!  Funny thing, current research indicates that women who experience morning sickness are less likely to miscarry.  I promised myself that if I did get morning sickness I would never complain.  I want to be thankful for the pregnancy experience however uncomfortable it might feel.  For the past week or so I started feeling a bit nauseous while I was hungry but nothing a little snack couldn't take care of.  Last night, the morning (or evening) sickness kicked in full force!  I ate a fruit salad for dinner and was so nauseated for the rest of the evening.  It was one of those sick feelings where you just wish you would throw up because then you'd feel better.  I've read about eating ginger to help with nausea so Jesse brought me a few ginger snaps.  I'm not sure if it was the cookies or just going to bed that did the trick in the end.  It's funny how something the size of a blueberry can make you feel that way!

Anxiety at the Doctor's Office

Because of our previous miscarriage they are watching us a bit more closely than a typical couple.  We were excited to see our baby at our first appointment, week 6.  The doctor did a scan and found only the yolk sac, no "fetal pole" (MD for baby, I suppose!).  He "thought he might be seeing something" but wasn't clear about it.  He recommended that we return the next week to repeat the ultrasound to ensure that there was a baby developing.  Naturally, we were upset.  He didn't give us any direct bad news but we were hoping for something really exciting.  I think that after having a miscarriage your perceptions change. The week moved so slowly.  Our friends and family had so many encouraging words.  Again, I am so thankful to have so many wonderful people in my life!

We anxiously went to the doctor 6 days later, at 7 weeks.  We found the nurse practitioner to be refreshingly kind and knowledgeable.  She was so sensitive to our worries.  She had just started the ultrasound when a rhythmic electric whooshing sound began... our baby's heartbeat!  Jesse squeezed my hand in the dark room, we were ecstatic!  She showed us our tiny baby and let us know that for the time being, everything looked good.  Our next appointment is on Monday, April 4th at 8 weeks!  The picture below is of our 7 week ultrasound:

Telling Family and Close Friends

Our families and friends had a front row seat to the pain we endured for the past 6 months.  They have been wonderfully supportive and loving.  Through everything, we have been most appreciative of our support system.  I only hope we can pay them back in some way for the wonderful things they have done/support they have given us, they're incredible.

When announcing a pregnancy the inevitable question arrises: Do we tell them now our wait until 12 weeks?  My philosophy is simple.  If, God forbid, we were to have another miscarriage I would rely on my family and close friends for support again.  They would find out at that point anyway, we might as well tell them while it's still a happy occasion!  

The day we found out about the pregnancy we wanted to tell our families right away.  We wanted to announce the pregnancy in a creative way.  After deciding to grab a celebratory hamburger for dinner, we had the idea to make t-shirts.  Jesse's would have a hamburger with an arrow to his belly, mine would have our approximate due date with an arrow to my belly.  Jesse wore a jacket with a zipper and I wore a hoodie.  He started the announcement by saying "look at my new shirt" followed by me saying "...and look at mine!"  It was a hit!  We have since told several of our close friends in the same way!

How do I tell him?

Last time I found out I was pregnant I wanted to announce it to my darling husband in an elaborate way.  Because of his adorable attraction to baby shoes I wrapped up a pair of booties with the pregnancy test and had him open it when he returned from work.  This time was different.  I couldn't wait any longer than I had to!  I climbed back in bed and whispered the good news in his ear while he was still asleep.  5...4...3...2...1... WIDE AWAKE!  He jumped up and hugged me!  There are few truly memorable moments in our lives, this was one.  After we dressed for work I subjected my poor husband to an early morning photo shoot:

It's Official!

It's been a long and interesting road.  After almost 2 years of trying and a miscarriage in October of 2010, we've finally arrived!  We are so excited and feel so lucky to be here as we know many couples have more difficulty than we've experienced.

On Wednesday, March 7th at 5 am, I decided I couldn't wait anymore.  While Jesse was still sleeping I ran into the guest bathroom, test in hand.  I took 2 tests: digital and typical line.  While the line progressed across the view window, I was disappointed when the line I so desperately wanted to see didn't appear.  While waiting for the digital result to appear I felt pessimistically anxious.  I couldn't believe my eyes when "pregnant" appeared on the screen!  I immediately went back to the line test only to see the line I had been looking for had appeared!   When I came out of the bathroom, still dark outside, I had the results I had been dreaming of.